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Losing a loved one
continued from page 4
Completing the cycle of grief
When is mourning over? One benchmark of a completed grief process is when the person is able to think of the deceased without pain. There is always a sense of sadness when you think of someone that you have loved and lost, but it is a different kind of sadness. You can think of the deceased without intense crying or feeling tightness in the chest. Also, mourning is finished when a bereaved person feels strong enough to re-invest his or her emotions back into life and living.
A personal journey
I realised during my bereavement counselling course that it had taken me two years to complete my grieving process after the loss of Graham. It was difficult at times, as the course brought back all the feelings and emotions I had gone through, but something inside urged me on. I desperately wanted to pass my assessments and work as a counsellor so that I could help others with their suffering. I wanted others to know what I had learnt - that though grief is incredibly painful, the suffering will ease eventually. I completed the course successfully and I am now a probationary counsellor for Cruse UK. After all the sadness I have experienced through grief, this is such a positive outcome for me.
Today, life is good. I have a new baby grandson who was born ten days ago, and although I feel sad that my mum, dad and brother are not around to see this little chap, I take comfort in my belief that they are all up there together looking down at him and feeling as proud as we are.
Gaynor Turley is a trainee Cruse counsellor and a community leader for the iVillage bereavement board.
Contact Cruse UK if you would like to have free bereavement counselling or want to learn more about being trained as a counsellor. Tel 0208 940 48214
Completing the cycle of grief
When is mourning over? One benchmark of a completed grief process is when the person is able to think of the deceased without pain. There is always a sense of sadness when you think of someone that you have loved and lost, but it is a different kind of sadness. You can think of the deceased without intense crying or feeling tightness in the chest. Also, mourning is finished when a bereaved person feels strong enough to re-invest his or her emotions back into life and living.
A personal journey
I realised during my bereavement counselling course that it had taken me two years to complete my grieving process after the loss of Graham. It was difficult at times, as the course brought back all the feelings and emotions I had gone through, but something inside urged me on. I desperately wanted to pass my assessments and work as a counsellor so that I could help others with their suffering. I wanted others to know what I had learnt - that though grief is incredibly painful, the suffering will ease eventually. I completed the course successfully and I am now a probationary counsellor for Cruse UK. After all the sadness I have experienced through grief, this is such a positive outcome for me.
Today, life is good. I have a new baby grandson who was born ten days ago, and although I feel sad that my mum, dad and brother are not around to see this little chap, I take comfort in my belief that they are all up there together looking down at him and feeling as proud as we are.
Contact Cruse UK if you would like to have free bereavement counselling or want to learn more about being trained as a counsellor. Tel 0208 940 48214
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