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How message boards can change your life

Got a question and don't know who to ask? Why not try one of the million new friends waiting to meet you on iVillage's message boards.

Last week I made a confession.

I had been working up to it for about a month, practising the lines, and carefully debating whom to share this particularly embarrassing piece of personal information with. I chose Lavinia, my best friend.

So I called her, and got her voicemail; I popped over, but her boyfriend was there, I emailed her at work, but she was too busy to answer. After a few tormented days I finally cornered her and made my big confession, waiting with bated breath for her response.

'Oh I wouldn't worry about it, these things happen,' she said, stirring a coffee and flicking through a magazine. I was dumbfounded - my big moment, and 'these things happen?' I wanted advice, I wanted reassurance, and maybe I even wanted her to tell me that I'd been a bit of a fool, not a lousy 'these things happen'.

Sound familiar? Perhaps what I should have done was bypassed my friend and posted my problem onto one of iVillage's message boards. With more than 100 boards to choose from, covering everything from sex to spirituality, the iVillage message boards have got a bit of something for everyone - even a Confession Corner for me.

On the boards people can express themselves freely, vent their opinions, swap ideas and get feedback on issues and discussions. 'The boards are like the modern fast food of personal interaction,' explains ivillager thoughtymind from the How to do Dating board. 'You can be munching on your breakfast and have a philosophical discussion at the same time.'

More than a million people have already discovered the therapeutic power of sharing their highs and lows on iVillage's message boards. Between them they post around 55,000 messages a month.

The people who post are single, married, have partners, jobs, children, family and friends. So, what is it that brings them to an anonymous forum to talk with a group of virtual strangers, often about extremely personal issues or problems?

'Written therapy, often known as quiet or silent therapy, is used everyday by everyday people, whether it involves writing in a diary, or rejuvenating a relationship with a love letter,' says Dr Phillip Hodson of the British Association of Councillors and Psychologists. 'Written therapy works because the author is trying to turn difficult feelings into simple ones. As with any narrative there needs to be a beginning, middle and end, this therefore gives the problem a plot, and makes it easier to deal with.'

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