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Daddy's girl
continued from page 1
Rebellious
She's late home on purpose, he's worried and angry, she pouts, he shouts, she sobs and says sorry, she won't do it again. And everything's fine - until the next time. All perfectly normal if it was an adolescent girl arguing with her father. But it's often a grown woman playing at being a disobedient teenager with a long-suffering boyfriend who doesn't realise he's been cast in the role of the heavy-handed father. Usually the daughter of excessively permissive fathers, she didn't get the chance to play up when she was younger because Dad never seemed to mind what she did. Either he was a bit of a rebel himself or he was too busy or idle to intervene. Psychologists and parenting experts talk about the importance of boundaries and without them, girls can grow up into provocative women trying to goad their boyfriends into saying: 'Stop it! That's enough!'
Rebellious
She's late home on purpose, he's worried and angry, she pouts, he shouts, she sobs and says sorry, she won't do it again. And everything's fine - until the next time. All perfectly normal if it was an adolescent girl arguing with her father. But it's often a grown woman playing at being a disobedient teenager with a long-suffering boyfriend who doesn't realise he's been cast in the role of the heavy-handed father. Usually the daughter of excessively permissive fathers, she didn't get the chance to play up when she was younger because Dad never seemed to mind what she did. Either he was a bit of a rebel himself or he was too busy or idle to intervene. Psychologists and parenting experts talk about the importance of boundaries and without them, girls can grow up into provocative women trying to goad their boyfriends into saying: 'Stop it! That's enough!'
Idealised
Somewhere out there is the perfect man for you; it's just a matter of finding him. And when you do, you're going to be so happy. If only. A woman who believes this is chasing an ideal, and consequently, is continually disappointed by real relationships. This kind of idealisation is commonly the result of an absent father. When circumstances like divorce, bereavement or long periods apart leave a young girl without a male role model, she tends to invent one. And, of course, he's flawless. Into the vacuum created by absence, she pours all her dreams, hopes and desires about what a man should be like. Needless to say, no-one can live up to the image she creates.
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iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB