Relationships 

Advertisement

Your place or mine?

It's that time of year again and we all know what to expect: holly and ivy, mulled wine and mince pies, and 'festive' family get-togethers. But will it be his parents' place or yours?

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me, 'Ready to spend Christmas dinner with my family?' My festive mood instantly marred as I tried to block out images of his matriarchal mother and managed, through gritted teeth, a non-committal 'aha'. Don't get me wrong; I love my boyfriend - but Christmas with his family? Is there really such a thing as unconditional love?

I am relieved to learn that I am not alone in this dilemma. My girlfriends have reassured me that others in this world also dread the Christmas 'your place or mine' question. You are coasting along in your wonderful relationship, and then Christmas comes along. Before you know it you have become an unwilling participant in a tug of war over where Christmas is spent.

His or hers
Jackie, a PA from London, has been going out with Duncan for two years. 'I'm an only child and my parents, who also live in London, expect me to come home every Christmas without fail. My boyfriend, on the other hand, comes from a large tight-knit family in Scotland. Obviously we can't see both families on the same day, unless we spend most of Christmas Day on an airplane.'

Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor from Relate, agrees that Christmas can be a very trying time for families. 'Tradition dictates that families should be together but unfortunately two families into one doesn't go. The only real way forward is through communication.'

It can be just as stressful giving both families a miss. Having your own pad should give a couple the excuse needed to spend Christmas Day alone together. But as Emma, a teacher from South London, found, 'Our families kept calling and calling us. By the time we had finished speaking to everyone?well, we might as well have gone round to visit.'

RATE IT

Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon

  Get the latest iVillage news on your desktop    Sign up for more iVillage RSS feeds

© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB