Relationships 

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Nine women, nine lives

continued from page 7
Single girl


Nesta Fitzgerald, 30, is single and lives in London. Since her early twenties, she says she's been able to hear the increasingly loud ticking of her biological clock

"I do really want to have children because I believe that it's what we're made to do. Unfortunately, I'm not doing it yet. I first felt a bit broody around the age of 23. I'm not really sure why, but since then I've been consciously looking for the right man to settle down with. Unfortunately it hasn't happened yet.

It's a very fine tightrope you walk when you're looking to meet someone. Admitting that you'd like to be in a relationship and have children immediately singles you out as being desperate and then no one will come near you with a barge pole. I bumped into an old friend not so long ago who, on hearing that I'd recently been made redundant, actually said 'Oh well, you just want to get married and have kids anyway.' I was infuriated because, while it's true, he said it in such a derogatory way, as if it was never going to happen. People can be so rude.

I've been single for the past six months now. I've decided that I'm not going to invest any more time in a relationship that's going nowhere. Instead I'm going to wait until I meet the right man. At first I was really miserable being single but now I'm quite enjoying it because it is empowering, being able to totally please yourself. I hang out with my other single girlfriends. I tend to avoid my friends who are married with children because I end up coming away feeling too depressed. They may not mean to, but they do give out that 'smug married' vibe. Or they ask me why I haven't got a boyfriend. I think they think I'm a bit weird, but now that I'm 30, I'm just not prepared to settle for someone who's not right for me.

If I did get pregnant tomorrow, I'd have the baby, even if the man didn't want to be involved. I know too many people who had abortions because it wasn't the right time in their life to have a baby and then so regretted it later on. I really want a baby of my own and no time is the right time so, even if I had to do it alone I would. It's not ideal but I didn't think I'd still be single at my age so what else can I do?"

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