The 'child-free by choice' brigade wave bye, bye baby

A joint decision?

Stiab3 says: 'Quite early on I'll try to find out (in casual conversation) how he feels about having children. If asked, my initial response is that I'm undecided (a miracle could yet occur), but I wouldn't get serious with a bloke unless I made it clear that I was child-free by choice.'

If you're not sure what you want until you're already in a relationship, it can be a rough ride.

iVillager bookaddict says: 'When I met my husband I unfortunately fell so in love with him that I tried to convince myself that everyone who'd said I'd change my mind was right. I don't think I ever told him specifically that I did want kids, but I never said I definitely didn't either. I thought that by the time we were married for a couple years I'd be ready. But the more time that passed, the more I knew I really didn't want kids.

'I have made it very clear to my husband that I will not have kids even if it means he divorces me. So far, he's decided he wants to stay together anyway, but I'm still afraid that he could change his mind and hate me for making him give up kids for the sake of staying together.'

It's a hard subject to tackle with lovers, but how do parents react to a daughter's decision not to procreate?

iVillager slkbird says: 'My family have said it is my choice and all they want is for me to be happy. My mum realises that being a full-time mother would not fulfill me, and that I have no patience with kids. Friends occasionally say "oh you'll change your mind", but thankfully they don't push it.'

Either way you look at it, it's a big decision to have children or to choose not to, but both are equally important. It's fantastic some women can't wait to have babies, but it's also great that women feel they can stand up and say 'it's not for me'. It's all about women having the freedom of choice.

Click here to buy Childfree and Loving It! by Nicki Defago.