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Coping with caring
continued from page 3
So what advice would Elaine give to women moving into the role of carer?'Get all the help you can, especially in dealing with the emotional changes in your relationship. In my case, I am no longer a wife but a carer, a mother figure.'
For friends of carers who want to help, the most important think is to acknowledge their needs. Caring can be an exhausting and isolating experience and it's vital to be considerate of a carer's situation.
As Elaine explains: 'I am a person with needs too, and if friends show an interest in me and what I'm doing, I'm more likely to open up to them. Personally, I now find it very difficult to cry - so don't have an expectation that the carer will fall apart and cry all over you. But if they do, just sit alongside them. You don't have to say or do anything - your presence is enough. Don't overstay your welcome. Caring can be exhausting and being a hostess is the last straw. Find out what they like and no longer have time to do. One friend does the shopping for me, and another regularly bakes me a cake. It's a simple gesture, but means so much to me.'
If you're caring for a relative and need support, practical information and advice, contact: The Princess Royal Trust for Carers
Telephone: 0207 480 7788
Get support on iVillage's Carers and Cared For message board, in association with The Princess Royal Trust for Carers.
So what advice would Elaine give to women moving into the role of carer?'Get all the help you can, especially in dealing with the emotional changes in your relationship. In my case, I am no longer a wife but a carer, a mother figure.'
For friends of carers who want to help, the most important think is to acknowledge their needs. Caring can be an exhausting and isolating experience and it's vital to be considerate of a carer's situation.
As Elaine explains: 'I am a person with needs too, and if friends show an interest in me and what I'm doing, I'm more likely to open up to them. Personally, I now find it very difficult to cry - so don't have an expectation that the carer will fall apart and cry all over you. But if they do, just sit alongside them. You don't have to say or do anything - your presence is enough. Don't overstay your welcome. Caring can be exhausting and being a hostess is the last straw. Find out what they like and no longer have time to do. One friend does the shopping for me, and another regularly bakes me a cake. It's a simple gesture, but means so much to me.'
If you're caring for a relative and need support, practical information and advice, contact: The Princess Royal Trust for Carers
Telephone: 0207 480 7788
Get support on iVillage's Carers and Cared For message board, in association with The Princess Royal Trust for Carers.
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