My rebellious teen drove him away

Problem number one is that your partner doesn't get on with your son. Problem number two, and the more worrying one, is that your partner doesn't agree with the way you handle your son. You and your man have different ways of reacting to the lad, and that's creating a conflict of loyalties; my bet is that your man sometimes accuses you of siding with your son against him, and you sometimes feel torn between the two of them.

There's an added glitch here. Your son, who's going through a rebellious phase anyway, probably senses the battle between you and your partner and is - without realising it - making things worse. After all, this guy's not his Dad so why should he accept him; you, on the other hand are his Mum and he wants to feel that you back him whatever he does. He throws strops, he has tantrums - and by doing so, he drives a wedge between you and your man.

It's a complex situation and not one that you can resolve overnight. But here are two suggestions. Number one, remind your partner that very soon - in the next year or so, probably - things will get a lot easier because your son will leave home: to go to college, to get a job, to move in with a girlfriend.

Suggestion number two, weird though it might seem, why not ask your son - rather than your partner - to go along to counselling with you, to support you. Through counselling you will learn a lot and he will too; it just might help him be more positive and lose that attitude of his.

Whether you and your partner get back together or stay apart, getting outside support for your family situation is bound to help.

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