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The Anatomy of a Girl Crush

by Cathryn Michon

An article in New York Times once postulated that one thing men and women have in common is that we both get crushes on women. This interested me greatly because I just went through a bad 'girl break-up' that was the result of a 'girl crush'

If you ever try to discuss the topic of girl crushes with a man, his eyes instantly glaze over and you automatically know it's because he is hearing the 'do-wacka-wacka' of cheesy porn music in his head. Sometimes you have to clap your hands together really loudly right in front of his face just to pull him out of his catatonic state.

No, it's not that kind of 'girl-on-girl action'. A girl crush is where you meet a woman whose sense of style or brilliant achievements or personal charisma makes you adore and worship her.

How it happens
The New York Times piece quotes Dr Pepper Schwartz, a learned and attractive author and college professor, who says she has been a frequent object of girl crushes, mostly from her students. I, for one, believe it, because in an odd coincidence I actually had lunch with her very recently, and I'm here to tell you she is prime girl-crush material. She's smart and funny and when she tells you her age you're shocked because she looks so fantastic.

A key element to the girl crush is arguably the appearance of the crushee, and yet the classic girl crush is decidedly non-sexual. (Attention, male readers: Did you hear me? Turn down the 'do-wacka' music. Do I have to clap my hands again?) I think the reason that looks or style factor into the crush equation has to do with the issue of role modeling. I love Oprah Winfrey, she looked impossibly hot on her 50th birthday. On some level I feel that Oprah and Dr Pepper Schwartz are paving the way for me to be interesting and accomplished and hot at any age.

Just the other day I developed a thing for a newsreader. She wore a fetching NASA blue jumpsuit, and she had her hair in a ponytail. My crush was born when she accidentally fluffed up her lines and then blushed from embarrassment.

Come on, how adorable is that?

If the object of your girl affection is famous, or even someone you are worshiping from afar, it must by necessity remain a crush. Webster's unabridged lists no derivation for the origin of the word 'crush', but I'm going to guess that it comes from a combination of 'crazy' and 'rush', because that's exactly what happens. Sometimes there are actual physical symptoms to a girl crush, and they are all unpleasant: sweating, trembling, heart palpitations. There is also an element of fantasy involved in these relationships, and the idea of your crush usually falls apart when you try to consider it in reality. When I tried to imagine myself with the newsreader girl, I sort of pictured us both in those cool jumpsuits fluffing up our lines together, but I couldn't really work out a reason why I'd be with her, or where I'd get my jumpsuit, and I started to realise how silly my girl crush was becoming. When your girl crush does not involve a notable or famous person, it can often mellow into a friendship, and that is the best.