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When your best friend makes a bad decision
My best friend has just found out that her husband of five years has got another girl pregnant. The girl is now eight months pregnant. My friend plans on staying with her husband and trying to work it out. How can I be a good friend without telling her what I think she should do?
Friend
I think you nailed the answer. Most people shoot the messenger when it comes to unwanted advice. Being supportive doesn't mean agreeing all the time. What it means is not passing judgment. So just be there for her.
And although this situation must be consuming your friend's every waking thought, don't make it the central focus of your friendship right now. What she's dealing with is a huge blow to her self-esteem and confidence. Your job is to make her feel secure in the fact that she needn't endure this alone. Be a kind ear and a willing shoulder. Cheer her up, reminding her of her good points. Do it both directly and indirectly. For example, if she says something funny, you can respond with, 'I've always wished I had your wit'. In other words, reinforce her good points.
You might also do some homework about counselling in the event that she brings the subject up. Professional help could be a great help.
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