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Why can't people keep their private lives private?
One of my colleagues is constantly coming in with tales of where she went last night, how much she drank, even with who she met up with. While some of the office seem to enjoy and even live for her outrageous adventures, I find it all in poor taste. I don't approve of her lifestyle, and if I have to work beside her, there are things I just don't want to know. How do I get her to keep her private life private, at least with me?
Shelley
Dear Shelley
That's a touchy one. Under no circumstances should you have to listen to such unsolicited information. You need to speak to her alone. Simply and directly, say something like, 'I understand that the majority of our workmates enjoy listening to your stories. However, I'm just incapable of handling such personal information, and I find that I don't know what to say. It would be better for both of us if you didn't tell me about the intimate details of your life. Please would you cooperate.'
That's a touchy one. Under no circumstances should you have to listen to such unsolicited information. You need to speak to her alone. Simply and directly, say something like, 'I understand that the majority of our workmates enjoy listening to your stories. However, I'm just incapable of handling such personal information, and I find that I don't know what to say. It would be better for both of us if you didn't tell me about the intimate details of your life. Please would you cooperate.'
As long as you're speaking of your experience, she cannot become defensive, which is when communication stops. Once she respects your desire not to know the intimate details of her night life, continue to be friendly and let her know how much more you enjoy working with her. Good luck.
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