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Your cheating heart
Forget the image of a mistress as a man's plaything. Today's 'other women' not only know exactly what they want, but how to get it...
On the recent ITV series, Mistresses, 69-year-old Bunny talked candidly about her affair with a married man. It had lasted for 30 years, during the course of which she had two children with him. Fascinatingly, the babies were planned and her lover had five other mistresses.
Far from being bitter, Bunny thoroughly enjoyed the set-up. 'When someone puts a big chocolate gateau in front of you, you don't try and eat the whole lot yourself, do you?' she cheekily declared.
Bunny is far removed from society's stereotypical mistresses - the predatory man-eater with a taste for married men, the sad loser waiting (and praying) for the phone to ring, or the commitment-phobe only wanting to have her cake and eat it. Bunny had the relationship on her terms.
And she's not the only one. Today's mistresses don't learn about 'the wife' moments after the first bonk, when he mutters something about not being understood at home. Modern mistresses already know - and accept - that he's hitched.
My friend, Sarah, frankly admits, 'While I was the 'other woman', there wouldn't be another 'other' woman. I knew the pain of being cheated on because my boyfriend of 11 years dumped me for my best friend, so I never wanted to feel that vulnerable again. This way, I was in control.'
When she started the relationship her close circle of friends (including me) had been supportive, but secretly puzzled. What was our elegant, intelligent friend doing with this man? And if it wasn't bad enough, he was also a celebrity, and he had children.
On the recent ITV series, Mistresses, 69-year-old Bunny talked candidly about her affair with a married man. It had lasted for 30 years, during the course of which she had two children with him. Fascinatingly, the babies were planned and her lover had five other mistresses.
Far from being bitter, Bunny thoroughly enjoyed the set-up. 'When someone puts a big chocolate gateau in front of you, you don't try and eat the whole lot yourself, do you?' she cheekily declared.
Bunny is far removed from society's stereotypical mistresses - the predatory man-eater with a taste for married men, the sad loser waiting (and praying) for the phone to ring, or the commitment-phobe only wanting to have her cake and eat it. Bunny had the relationship on her terms.
And she's not the only one. Today's mistresses don't learn about 'the wife' moments after the first bonk, when he mutters something about not being understood at home. Modern mistresses already know - and accept - that he's hitched.
My friend, Sarah, frankly admits, 'While I was the 'other woman', there wouldn't be another 'other' woman. I knew the pain of being cheated on because my boyfriend of 11 years dumped me for my best friend, so I never wanted to feel that vulnerable again. This way, I was in control.'
When she started the relationship her close circle of friends (including me) had been supportive, but secretly puzzled. What was our elegant, intelligent friend doing with this man? And if it wasn't bad enough, he was also a celebrity, and he had children.
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iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB