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Your cheating heart
continued from page 1
While Sarah's reaction devastated her married lover, chartered counselling psychologist, Susan Van Scyoc, says her reaction can be fairly typical of a modern-day mistress.
'Many mistresses actually enjoy the affair because they can keep their independence, knowing there is not going to be a 24/7 commitment,' she reveals. 'They get the fun and intensity without the smelly socks and laundry. So, if they are actually faced with a full-on relationship, a mistress will often bolt for the door.'
Like Sarah, another friend of mine - 33-year-old Katherine - knew that her boyfriend was married right from the start. She's been having an affair with him for the past three years. They started out as friends ten years ago and, despite Katherine trying 'to keep the padlock on my pants', they slept together at a work party.
'It's a terrible cliche, isn't it?' she half-laughs. 'I'd resisted for so long, but I finally caved in. David had always been off-limits because I knew he was married and had two small children. But then we started to work together and I started seeing him in a different way. When I finally slept with him, I knew I had crossed an invisible line - one there was no going back from.'
When David's wife confronted him a year into the affair, he admitted to his adultery straight away. But rather than throw him out onto the street, she agreed to turn a blind-eye to his relationship with Katherine, if he stayed for the sake of the kids. The unconventional arrangement worked to begin with, but two years down the line, Katherine admits it's starting to wear her down.
'We have a lovely time together - we have a laugh and I love him to bits. But I miss not being able to do the spontaneous things. Some mistresses are quite happy with what little bits they can get, but if David was to turn up on the doorstep with his kids, I would be over the moon.'
While Sarah's reaction devastated her married lover, chartered counselling psychologist, Susan Van Scyoc, says her reaction can be fairly typical of a modern-day mistress.
'Many mistresses actually enjoy the affair because they can keep their independence, knowing there is not going to be a 24/7 commitment,' she reveals. 'They get the fun and intensity without the smelly socks and laundry. So, if they are actually faced with a full-on relationship, a mistress will often bolt for the door.'
Like Sarah, another friend of mine - 33-year-old Katherine - knew that her boyfriend was married right from the start. She's been having an affair with him for the past three years. They started out as friends ten years ago and, despite Katherine trying 'to keep the padlock on my pants', they slept together at a work party.
'It's a terrible cliche, isn't it?' she half-laughs. 'I'd resisted for so long, but I finally caved in. David had always been off-limits because I knew he was married and had two small children. But then we started to work together and I started seeing him in a different way. When I finally slept with him, I knew I had crossed an invisible line - one there was no going back from.'
When David's wife confronted him a year into the affair, he admitted to his adultery straight away. But rather than throw him out onto the street, she agreed to turn a blind-eye to his relationship with Katherine, if he stayed for the sake of the kids. The unconventional arrangement worked to begin with, but two years down the line, Katherine admits it's starting to wear her down.
'We have a lovely time together - we have a laugh and I love him to bits. But I miss not being able to do the spontaneous things. Some mistresses are quite happy with what little bits they can get, but if David was to turn up on the doorstep with his kids, I would be over the moon.'
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