Top 12 cheating myths

Myth 5: Sex with an ex isn't cheating because you've been there, done that

Sleeping with an ex is the sexual slip-up people most commonly expect to get away with. It doesn't feel like you're being unfaithful. It's not as if it's with someone new who might expect the sex to turn into a relationship, right? Wrong.

Sadly, this is exactly why sex with an ex can have disastrous consequences. You might be having a shag for old times sake, but your ex may be doing it as a desperate bid to rekindle the relationship . So you have to break it off (again) and explain to your current partner why you're suddenly getting e-mails or calls from him after all this time.

The chances of getting found out are actually higher than if you'd had sex with a stranger because strangers won't feel the need to write a long, incriminating closure e-mail.

Myth 6: You can affair-proof your relationship

You can lower the chances of an affair in your relationship, but there are never any guarantees. The next best thing? Choose the right partner. Choosing the right person is more important than keeping them happy once you've got them because things like morals, values systems and family backgrounds are much stronger influences on whether someone will cheat (or not).

Myth 7: If he has a history of cheating, he'll probably cheat on you too

This one is almost always true. If your partner's cheated on almost everyone they've been out with, and nothing has happened to make them rethink their behaviour, they'll almost certainly do the same to you.

Myth 8: You should always confess if you've had an affair

If the affair is known or strongly suspected, you're better off telling. You've got more chance of rescuing your relationship after a voluntary confession than after an unwanted discovery. But if it's unlikely to be discovered, there are also valid reasons for keeping your mouth shut. For example, some experts will advise you not to tell if your partner's not the strongest person emotionally.

News of an affair isn't exactly going to give them a leg up on that steep, bumpy road to high self-esteem! Telling is going to wipe out any trust they'd mustered up, and it could take years to rebuild (if, indeed, that's possible). Instead, work out why you had the affair in the first place. What were you getting from it that you weren't getting from the relationship you're in? Is it possible to create that with the person you're already with?

The worst possible reason to confess an affair is to make yourself feel better. True, it will lift the guilt off your shoulders. But it will plonk a whole heap of pain on your partner's. You made the mistake, now deal with the consequences.