When a husband's eyes wander
Dear Dr Patti
I have a very attractive and hot wife. Though I really love her, I am often driven by a strong desire to have sex with other women. This desire has been growing more and more over the past few months. I do think these feelings are wrong. What should I do?
L
Congratulations on seeing what a babe your wife is. Good for you that you have the courage to acknowledge that your eyes are wandering. Some sociologists, such as Helen Fisher, argue that there's a biologically driven desire to explore outside marriage after a certain period of time. This is known as the four-year itch, one that can cause those urges you’re now feeling to wander with your eyes, your heart and your groin.
Be warned. Following those drives, whether stemming from a social or sexual tendency, can get you in plenty of trouble. Think carefully before you follow your desires.
I suggest you discuss this urge with a counsellor who can help to determine the exact triggers within your life at this time. Maybe you and your wife should examine any malaise in your relationship and your bedroom. Perhaps you have fallen into a routine of doing the same stuff and it's become boring to think about sex with her. You may be going through some form of the mid-life crisis and this is your cure.
Finally, many male clients and some females report to me that they feel this sense of longing to go with their sexual flow and experiment with other women or men. That's often because these people are fantasies, not the same person who does your washing and asks you to clean the car on Saturday. So try and rethink your perceptions of those 'other' women, who could one day just as easily become another wife whom you will leave for yet another sexual pursuit. Instead, concentrate on the sexy, attractive woman you've got at home.
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
