Busy bodies risk ruining my affair

What's happening here is interesting. Despite your man's protestations that he has no intention of leaving his wife, he's allowed the situation with you to get sufficiently public that the news could get back to her.

He could have been ultra-careful about your liaisons but he hasn't been. And now people are starting to talk, he's not panicking and dropping you - he's still committed to the relationship. Part of him wants all this out in the open - and I strongly suspect that some part of him also wants to end his marriage and be with you.

Is this what you want too? If it isn't, if you genuinely want him to stay married, if you honestly don't want him to leave his wife, then simply telling her not to believe the rumours won't work. It's not only an outright lie - it's also likely to make her even more suspicious. Your only way out is to back right off, essentially to leave him and his wife a clear field to sort out their problems. You lose a lover, but you've done the right thing.

If, actually, you too want a full-time commitment with this man, then say so. Because though it may seem totally unfair on his wife, the way things are going, sooner or later he's going to blow the marriage out - and the two of you might as well face up to that right now.

All that said, be very careful... a man who's unfaithful once is often unfaithful again. A few years down the line, it could be you who's having suspicions and wondering where the love went!

Are you involved in an affair with a married man? Why not chat to other iVillagers on the My Affair message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions taking place on the message board right now: