Marry me!

• Choose a time when you'll both be relaxed. If Valentine's Day falls within the working week, you might want to suggest you both take the day off.
• Choose a place where both of you don't feel under pressure. In bed after great sex may sound wonderful, but may be just too intimate - he may feel he has to say yes.
• He'll need lots of time and space to respond to the proposal. So choose somewhere you can be alone - rather than the Bull and Bush just before they ring last orders.

The right situation

• If he's the sporting type, go for a fun day's activities - walking, bowling, dry-slope skiing - then pop the question when he's happily full of adrenaline.
• If he loves the unusual, hang a poster from a bridge he passes on his way to work, or walk on the beach and let him 'find' a bottle with your message in it.
• If he's a private person, make it a private occasion; book the restaurant where you had your first date, or curl up on the sofa with a bottle of champagne.

Ring or no ring?

• You don't need to buy a ring - you can let the proposal speak for itself then go together to buy the ring (or rings) so you both get to choose.
• If you do buy a ring for him, be aware of his taste in jewellery. To get the size correct, play a game of comparing fingers and estimate how big his are in comparison with yours. If you're wrong, the jeweller can alter the size later.

What to do

• Choose your moment to spring the surprise - when the two of you are feeling close, but when he's not expecting it.
• Avoid big gestures. The more people and props involved, the greater the danger it will all go wrong.
• You can go down on one knee, as tradition suggests men do - but it's not demanded. Sitting or standing opposite while holding his hands may be best.

What to say

• The simpler the words, the easier it is for you to say and him to hear. 'I love you - will you marry me?', or 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you - let's get married?'.
• If you're really nervous, provide something: a beautifully written note for him to open, or a video that he can watch while you hug him.
• The important thing is the emotion, not that you follow some sort of script. A proposal that's said with love and received with love will always work.