Do you know what you are saying when you say,
'I do?'

Many women have told me that their first year was horrible as they struggled to reconcile their careers, friendships and idiosyncrasies with the demands of a committed marriage. Statistics reveal that more women become depressed in their first year of marriage than at any other time.

These women have established a life and age does not encourage malleability. They are more selfish and complex. Bowing to the dictates of an old-fashioned marriage and what they think a wife should be while continuing a modern career is confusing and can damage their self-esteem.

Sarah was thirty-five when she promised her husband she would give up her career in politics. She loved it, but for five years she kept her word and turned her intelligent mind to the business of rearing children. She grew depressed. Eventually her husband realised that the demands he had made had been too high and he agreed to support her in a new job offer. Much heartache would have been saved if she had stood her ground at the outset.

The transformation from two single people to a married couple involves compromise and negotiation. It is a literal - I will do this for you, so what will you do for me? It is so tempting to try and force the other to lead your life. Eventually we learn to let the other be, but it's a daunting task.