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The marriage club
Interspersed with such morose stories, which made me wonder how anybody ever managed to breed, were the complaints. How could he walk past that picture which needed hanging week after week. Why does he have such awful friends, not to mention relatives who always needed entertaining or visiting. 'I hated the fact that he wanted to pick me up after work,' said the wife of a casino croupier, who preferred to have the time for herself. 'We compromised so that he only picked me up three nights a week and I got two nights off.' One couple agreed that the television could come into the bedroom on alternate months, its presence sounding the death knell on any possibility of a romantic cavort.
The advice on how to cope and where to compromise was relentless. 'My husband is a very good decision-maker but he doesn't consider the emotional factors. It is my job to make him think about them,' said one but they all had their war stories. 'I don't give way on anything,' announced another. On the subject of pregnancy and children the club rises to its metier as a fount of information on everything from miscarriage, to Braxton Hicks pains or teething problems.
Some of their advice I found archaic and ridiculous. Perhaps I am running a risk as a newly married woman but when I said 'I do', I did not anticipate becoming a man's notion of Pamela Anderson dressed in a pinny. Each couple needs to work out their own marriage rules and there are no short cuts but the support from other married women is invaluable in the early days of married life.
Are you part of the club? Get into the nitty gritty of your relationship with other iVillage members.
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