Relationships 
MarriageMarried LifeBefore you say 'I do'
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Before you say 'I do'

by Susan Quilliam
continued from page 1
Topic One: The reasons for getting married
The primary motive for getting married is because you love each other and want to be together, but each of you may have other reasons for wanting to wed - other needs that you have to fulfil if the marriage is going to work.

Which of the following reasons for marrying apply to you? Tick as many as you agree with, then compare notes and talk through your differences.

Your partner's reasons for marrying may not fit with yours. If you're feeling angry or upset you need to talk the issue through. A common difference is one partner marrying as a sign of commitment but the other partner marrying because he or she wants children. The aim of this exercise is to get to a point where you understand, appreciate and respect each other's motives, even if they differ.

I want to get married because I love my partner and also because:
  • I see it as the next logical step in our relationship
  • I want to have children
  • I want my family to be happy about our relationship
  • I feel it's time I was married
  • my religion demands it
  • I want to make a success of marriage this time round
  • I want to give the children a stable home
  • I want the security of marriage
  • I want to be independent of my parents
  • my friends are all married
  • It is a sign of my commitment to my partner
  • It is a sign of my partner's commitment to me



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