Great Expectations

What wives really want
Lenny seems to have been unlucky in the women he has met. None of his fellow board members seems especially bothered about the state of their partner's credit card. All tilly wants is 'someone thoughtful - this does not have to involve lots of money or constant reassurances from him, just the odd smile or gentle touch.' She goes on to say that both partners should have friends of the opposite sex. Most of the board members agree that they want someone who makes them laugh and 'to have the odd bonk with when we're not both too tired'.

It isn't only men worrying about what women want out of marriage: lots of women come to the board unable to cope with their husbands' expectations. Considering how far we've come since the women's rights movement, it's surprising how many men still expect their wives to carry out most of the household work. iVillager cahagis says, 'I work 8+ hours a day, do all the laundry, dishes and cleaning. He's mad because I don't cook as well. When I ask him to help me, he always says he will, but never does.'

Meanwhile, yolanda's husband accuses her of sponging despite the fact she looks after their child and seven-bedroom home. Abi is passionate about this issue after seeing her mum ground down by a full-time job and all the work in the home. Now many of her friends are putting up with the same treatment. She says, 'There must be someone out there who has made a 50/50 split of household chores and made it work. Why should it be down to us in the first place to divide the workload?'

As time goes by
Thoughts on marriage and relationships can turn into a game of Chinese whispers, with each sex turning the other into a caricature. For example, how does the reasonable desire for a thoughtful partner translate into a desperate need for constant reassurance '138 times a day.' Poor lenny explains that he was only joking and that when he finds the right woman he will happily settle down with her. It seems that his idea of a happy marriage is not that different from many of the female board members'.

Many of the problems faced by young couples may just be part of settling in - judging from the response of long-married board members the rewards take a while to recognise and appreciate. Once you do, though, for many people it is worth it. As one married board member says, 'Now every little joy is a blessing - we're mostly happy. We both know that if it went belly-up tomorrow we'd be okay because we support each other.'