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Weekends away: the last resort?

by Fiona Gibson
Getting away from it all: will it make or break your relationship?

My friend Laura's relationship had hit crisis point. Her husband Matt, a partner in a property letting agency, was working evenings and weekends. Understandably (though not too sensibly) Laura had taken the 'stuff him' option and launched into an activity packed week which didn't include him: gym, dance classes, nights out with girlfriends. Great. She was keeping herself busy. She also realised that she and Matt were drifting further apart.

'What you two need is a weekend away' is what everyone repeatedly recommended her to do. It got to the point where Laura was on the verge of banging her head against the wall if she heard that irritating nugget of advice again.

'Go on holiday/have a short break.' It's the classic advice dished out by counsellors, agony aunts and friends - and for good reason. 'Sex becomes relegated in everyday life,' says psychosexual counselor, Frances Emeleus. 'We can even use friends to take the place of an intimate relationship. Sometimes, contrived though it sounds, we need to create time to be together - almost scheduling sex.' But is a short break your passport to love?

The weekend-away dream goes like this:

  • You're together. No phone, no work commitments, no dustbin to wheel out. Bang go the niggles that get in the way of your relationship.

  • Head for sunnier climes and, as if by magic, you're no longer too busy or shattered for sex. 'Everyone reacts to light levels,' says John Simmonds at the Seasonal Affective Disorder Association. 'You're more motivated, you eat lighter foods. You're a different animal.'

  • You have time. You can talk about your feelings and - naturally - make full use of your hotel's facilities by indulging in wild and wonderful sexual pleasures. You don't even have to make the bed afterwards.


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