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Deflower power

A drunken fumble at a party or a well-planned first time experience with condoms to hand? iVillagers spill the beans on their first time

Whether we like it or not, one in four women and nearly a third of men have had sex before they are 16 - the legal age of consent - according to revealing research from the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles 2000. The study also found that the average age of first time sex has dropped to sixteen, the lowest level on record.

Sadly, many people regret their teenage sexual experiences, with four in five women who had intercourse at 13 or 14 wishing they'd waited until they were older. Overall, women are twice as likely as men to regret their first experience.

We asked iVillagers to tell us how old they were when they lost their virginity and, more importantly, if they felt ready. Many iVillagers felt they had waited until the right time, and had good first experiences. But some women regret having sex so young, or wish they'd waited until they were in a fulfilling relationship. Read their stories here.

The right time - no regrets

I lost mine at 16 in the downstairs toilet of his parent's house during a party. I remember trying not to laugh, as he seemed to take it all so seriously. We split up soon after. I think it changed the boundaries and I certainly didn't feel like having sex again until at least a year later. It wasn't until I was eighteen and with my third partner that I realised that sex was meant to be fun. In hindsight it would have been better if I'd waited a couple of years until I was 18, but I don't really regret having sex then.
Anonymous

I was 18 and with a man I still love. I was abused as a child so sex is a big issue for me. It is not something I can be casual about. Sex is a very special thing. It should not be forced or done to prove a point. It worries me that children are sexualised so early these days. My childhood was hell and how I wish I had been able to play with my toys - to be my age. I don't understand why there is so much pressure on young people now to grow up. At 13 years old you're still a child. I know a lot of young people and I always say, 'Try to treasure childhood'.
Dolphinchorusatdawn

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