What if you decided, along with your lover, to limit regular sex for 30 days and, instead, to try out new ways of relating with your minds, hearts, mouths and bodies? That's just what this doctor is ordering to get you to new heights of shared intimacy and off-the-scale pleasure. You don't have to abandon sex entirely, but at least for this week, try to keep your clothes on and don’t have intercourse. Believe me, it will pay off and add delight to your forays between the sheets.

What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running?

The first step is to start a Love Diary. This can be a velvet-bound notebook, electronic organiser or any other device that appeals to you. Keep your diary in a place where you can get to it in those early hours of the day, before you’re too distracted by your everyday routine. This is the best time to write a diary, a reliable technique for inner growth and personal assessment that has been recommended for centuries. Use your love diary to answer the following questions: What turns me on sexually? What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running? Is it having my hair brushed, a flirtatious smile or reading sexy love notes left on the fridge? Is it taut buttocks, messy hair, or feeling warm breath all over my neck? Try to focus on every possible aspect of what gets you going. Write down every thought that you can, every day. Watch for patterns. Watch for what your partner really does to you – or what you wish he would. During week one, let your diary be your guide. Try out some of your turn-ons with your partner and also keep indulging in your thoughts of foreplay fantasies. Be daring and keep notes on how you feel.

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The great sex workshop - week one