Video

Newsletters

Competitions

Quizzes

Offers

Social Network

Message Boards

Prepare for party season
30 top frocks

Police racism allegations
Do we need an inquiry?

Perfect sex positions
Be adventurous in bed

Relationships

Topics

Sex

Hot Sex
Bedroom Basics
Oral Sex
Orgasms
Sex & Health
Sexual Dilemmas
Talk About Sex

Hot stuff

Are you an Xmas scrooge?

Budget sex toys

Refuge: Early Warning Signs campaign

Halloween fun

The Orgasmatron

Sex positions to try

Find your feminine side

iVillage sex shop

Men are perfect but...

Newsletters

Promotions

Reinvent your sex life in just one weekend

by Julia Cole

Discover how a little creativity and fun can rejuvenate your sexual relationship and make a real difference, in just 48 hours!

Many couples find that their sex life loses sparkle as they make more of a commitment to each other. Dealing with a stressful job while juggling work, childcare and your relationship can also dampen the fires of passion over time and this is especially true if either of you has been ill or had a sexual problem that needed medical help.

Home or away?
Talk to your partner about devoting a whole weekend to exploring your sex life. Regardless of whether you plan to stay at home or book into a remote B&B, if you have children, you will need to find babysitters. The focus is on you and your partner, so ask a friend or relative if your children can sleep over with them.

If you decide to go away, look for somewhere quiet where you can come and go as you please. You might consider renting an out-of-the-way cottage or a room in a small beachside hotel. If you decide to stay at home, unplug the TV and turn on the answer-machine to prevent any interruptions or distractions.

Setting the scene
If you plan to go away for the weekend, take some basic items with you to set the scene during love play such as scented candles or a simple oil burner. Consider also taking a silk sheet to drape over the bed, or a soft fleece blanket, to provide a stimulating texture for your skin.

If you have a portable CD player, then take it with you along with a selection of your favourite CDs. Choose your music with care. Look for music that has a good rhythm but is not too disturbing (no heavy metal!), or music that helps you relax. Music that you listened to when you first got together is a great choice as it will remind you of a time when you felt sexy and close to one another.

Props for your sex play
You may be surprised to discover that you already own a multitude of aids to sexual pleasure in your wardrobe or around your home. Look for items such as silk scarves, furry gloves, feathers (especially a feather boa), a chain link or pearl necklace, and any sexy underwear you have tucked away for special occasions. Your partner too may also want to search for silky boxer shorts, and other fabrics that will stimulate your touch sensors.

Buy a good-quality massage oil (available from chemists or health and beauty outlets) and a lubricant for lovemaking (look for silicone-based lubricants), for fun, try KY Warming Liquid! You should also invest in a vibrator; they are so much more than just plastic willies, and your partner can learn some new tricks with them too!

Stimulate all your senses
Start your weekend love-in by taking turns to have a relaxing bath, or bathing or showering together. Use the water from your bath to caress your body, relaxing as you allow yourself to get in touch with your sexual self again. Enjoy the sensations of touch as you think about the pleasure you will share together. If you bathe together, avoid making love immediately. Instead, take time to caress one another, using sweeping strokes over each other's back and thighs.

Wrap yourselves in a clean fluffy towel or dressing gown and eat a simple meal of finger foods that you can dip in sauces and feed to one another. Avoid strongly flavoured foods such as garlic or chilli because they can flavour bodily fluids; foods with a sensuous quality, however, will awaken your body to further delights. Try chocolate and strawberries which are believed to promote feelings of well-being and sexual arousal.

Use your scented candles and favourite perfumes and aftershaves to lend a luxurious feel to the room. Pile up cushions and pillows to create a 'harem' feel alongside your silk sheet or soft fleece. Wear your slinkiest underwear and enjoy leading yourselves up to lovemaking.