The libido see-saw

10 top tips to boost your sex life

1. Increase daily affection. It's hard to go from 0 to 60mph when trying to get close. Touching one another regularly leads to sex more naturally. Recent research demonstrates that couples who sleep together naked are more likely to make love.
2. Book time in your diary. Put sex first instead of last and you will find it easier to enjoy lovemaking. Suggest sensual massages, shared showers, or watching a raunchy movie together to relight your fire.
3. Spend regular time together just as a couple. Get a babysitter and enjoy one another's company over a meal or a walk in the park on a sunny summer evening.
4. See yourself as a sexual person. If you walk straight past the sexy underwear or cringe at erotic moments in films, you may be out of touch with yourself as deserving of a satisfying sex life. Tell yourself you are sexy and capable of passion rather than someone who should forget about that side of life.
5. Encourage your partner when he does something you love during sex. Tell him how much he turns you on and guide his hands to caress just the spot you want touching.
6. Read a sexual fantasy book. Nancy Friday has written several books, the most famous of which is My Secret Garden. These books will reassure you that everyone has fantasies and it's OK to use them to help boost libido.
7. Masturbate regularly. The more often you have orgasms, the more often you will think about - and want - sexual activity. Try caressing yourself in the bath or shower to provide extra lubrication.
8. Eat healthily and take some exercise each day. There is no need to rush out and join a gym. Walking, swimming and dancing are all great exercise and easy to do. Exercise releases natural brain chemicals that aid relaxation and improve sex drive.
9. Take evening primrose oil to improve hormonal balance (check with your GP or pharmacist first). Ginseng is also thought to boost sexual desire, but is more likely to be connected to a general improvement in energy levels.
10. Make sure your life has some fun in it. If you feel overloaded with work, childcare and household chores, your sexual desires will gradually fade away. Get creative - perhaps by taking up a dance class or learning a new language - and your increased self-confidence will lift your sexual self-esteem.