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When size matters
Dear Dr Patti
I am dating a wonderful man. We are perfect together and everything seems right. The problem is we can't seem to make sex work. One thing is that he is huge in diameter and it's as if it just won't go in. I am a small woman and I don't know if it's me or him or a combination. If you can have a baby, surely you would be able to accommodate the size of a man inside you. We have plenty of foreplay, so it's not as if we rush. Maybe we are both too nervous and it gets frustrating when we try so hard. Everything else is great and I want sex to be perfect too. He says he has never had this problem, so I'm worried it's me.
H
Much of what you write is promising, so have faith and let's try and find a solution to your unusual problem - most women complaining about penis size are longing for more, not less. The average erect penis is between five and six and a half inches in length and 4.85 inches around, according to some scientific research. Just for fun, and perhaps to help put your mind at ease, you could wind a string or ribbon around his erect penis and measure it. Knowing that he's within the normal range may alleviate some of his or your concerns. Alternatively, acknowledging his hugeness may help you to overcome your guilt about not being able to take him inside you without discomfort.
One of the keys to accepting a large penis is mental readiness. If you are tightening in fear or anticipation of being hurt, no object will be able to slide in easily. Instead, try to envision the two of you fitting together; that will bring added closeness to your relationship, along with pleasurable sensations for you both. If you are dry or constricting with resistance, you will not be able to accommodate his penetration. You may want to use a lubricant. Breathing can also help, especially if you try to breathe together - in and out to match his thrusting. Breathe gently at first and then try to keep your breathing pattern slow and deep to help his penetration. As regards your question about being big enough to have a baby, the truth is that during birth the whole body is wound into action for expulsion, not for accepting. If you can get your mind, emotional state and body to relax, and you prepare yourself well, you may find that your partner can fill and fulfil you.
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