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Touch yourself
Dear Dr Patti
I'm 23 and I have never touched my private area because of fear. I heard that masturbating is very satisfying, and I would like to try it. Can you give me tips to help me get started?
G
You are not alone. Despite the buzz about masturbation, many women do not do it. Women, like men, deserve to gain their pleasure from their own hands, especially since research shows that masturbation is the foundation for good partner sex and is in itself a wonderful outlet, releasing sexual tension or simply as an aid to relaxing. Masturbation is to be explored, celebrated and cherished.
There are two renowned paperback books on the subject that I suggest you read pronto: Sex for One by Dr Betty Dodson and For Yourself by Dr Lonnie Barbach. Both authors are trusted, expert sexologists who have conducted workshops for women over the years and have written about their findings. Betty has also developed teaching tapes on masturbation and female sexuality, which are available at her site Betty Dodson. I particularly recommend that you watch Celebrating Orgasm, in which she works individually with a range of women, coaching them through solo sex to orgasmic satisfaction. One of the best videos on the topic is Masturbation Memoirs, which includes a variety of women showing their sexual masturbation patterns. It also features a performance artist who gives an award-winning monologue about women and their bodies that will knock your socks off.
I then suggest that you explore your genitals with your hands and a hand-held mirror. Find out what's down there. Touch yourself using different strokes and varied intensities, in all the places possible, to the point of orgasm. This will help you to develop a map of your own sexual landscape. Once you do that, you will be able to tell or show a partner how you like to be touched. I like to think that each of us has a sexual fingerprint, so learn yours well. Then you will have yourself as your own life-long lover and be able to share that with a special someone.
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