Dear Dr Patti
I read your column about a woman who was worried because she cried during orgasm. You mentioned that laughter, too, could be a symptom of heightened pleasure.

My problem is that even though I have clitoral orgasms, I have almost never experienced a vaginal orgasm. However, I have recently had a terrible case of the giggles, which I could not stop. I almost ruined the moment because my husband couldn't help but laugh because I was laughing. As far as I can remember, I was feeling something really good and couldn't deal with it in any other way. It was almost too much for me to handle. I don't believe I reached an orgasm, but I was probably, or possibly, very near it. I didn't get that explosive feeling that everyone describes. What do you think? Can you help me find out what was going on?
O

answer

Dear O
You are one of the legions of women in search of the 'Big O' who never get there. First, your quest for the explosion is very common; so is your experience of the bursting bubble of expectation, as some women, and even men, feel differing emotions and sensations, some of which never approach that explosive level of release. For that, tension is necessary throughout your whole body, not just the sexual parts, building up to a crescendo after the symphonic interludes. I suspect that you two are not playing your instruments quite enough, or in the right manner, to free you.

A giggle is one of those energetic release mechanisms that the human body so mysteriously uses when it wants to let out what has been building up inside. It may be the result of too much air, too much tension building in the muscles of your body or even your own unique brand of orgasmic release. Whatever it is, it's perfectly normal for you and may recur. If so, perhaps you and your hubby can anticipate your reaction and know that it is something to ride out - like a huge wave breaking on the ocean surface - and let it take you both to shores unknown.

As for your not reaching that point of vaginal orgasm, take more time for direct clitoral stimulation, even getting to your first orgasm that way; then allow his penetration to take you deeper and further than before. That may be your ticket.

ivillage uk

A laughing matter?