What is it about anal sex that makes us squirm? People pretend they don't do it when they do and many of us clam up because we don't. Anal sex is the last sexual act we find embarrassing to talk about. It's no good being shy about anal sex because most men want to try it, most women are asked to do it, or want to do it and both sexes love it regardless of sexual orientation.

So, why the embarrassment whenever the subject is broached? Is it because of what comes out of our bottoms on a daily basis or because many women's experience of anal sex is an impromptu and painful probe by an overexcited boyfriend?

With the right lover, at the right time, and with lots of time to play around, anal sex is a turn on for many couples. It can be orgasmically and emotionally very intense and, like oral sex, has a special intimacy. More than any other sexual act, it requires a certain amount of trust on both sides. If your partner does ask for the unmentionable, stand firm if it doesn't appeal. That old chestnut, 'You'd do it if you loved me', isn't good enough as a persuasion technique for back-door lovin'. Anal sex can be very painful and traumatic if a partner is reluctant.

Just because you don't want to do it, doesn't mean you are 'frigid' or a sexual fuddy-duddy. Anal sex is not for everyone. If your partner would like to do it but the thought has you clenching your buttocks like a wrench, don't feel inadequate. Introduce something else into your sex life that hasn't been tried before, like a new position.

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Anal sex: a delicate decision