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  |  Sex  |  Sexual Dilemmas  |  Dilemma  |  He won't take sex seriously
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He won't take sex seriously

by Susan Quilliam

question
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and the sex used to be exciting, but now I'd like it to be a serious part of our relationship. Whenever we're about to do it he just starts laughing or plays hard to get to make me want him. I've told him that sex is a serious thing and not something to joke about but he just won't listen. How can I make my partner understand it's serious?

answer
I actually see both points of view here. I sympathise with both you and your boyfriend. Sex is serious and wonderful and thrilling. But it can also be fun and jokey and a game. You can be very solemn while making love - or you can laugh all the way through to your orgasm.

I do understand that you think your boyfriend isn't taking you seriously - because he isn't taking sex seriously. But it's far more likely that he just wants to relax and enjoy himself sometimes, without lovemaking being a big deal.

So just for a while, why not do things your boyfriend's way? Rather than pushing him to understand you, why not try to understand him. Join in his bedroom games. Tease him back. Laugh more, giggle more, have more fun.

I think you'll find that he'll be more willing to take sex seriously if you are more willing to play.

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