Try this relaxation exercise to get back in touch with yourself. Lie down and breathe in for the count of four and out for seven. Within ten minutes of doing that you will feel much more relaxed – and much more sensual. No time? ‘If you don’t have ten minutes for yourself you really have to ask what you’re doing,’ says Knowles. Also take time out to be sensual with each other, and yourself. ‘A lot of women don’t actually know what they want.’

Stop smoking
Smoking reduces your sex drive and is linked to weaker orgasms. Alcohol doesn’t help much either – the disinhibition felt after one or two drinks may make you feel in the mood, but any more will lessen sensation (and the less pleasurable sex is, the less likely it is you’ll desire it). Cutting down on both can raise libido.

Exercise
Exercise is relaxing and invigorating and makes you feel good about your body: all things that will help your sex life. And the better the blood flow around your body, the quicker and more intense your arousal. Pelvic floor exercises will improve muscle tone and blood flow to your pubic area, which can increase sensation – try the 5 day better sex diet and fitness plan for more information.

Take a warm bath
Taking a warm bath may significantly increase arousal, according to some new research. The temperature of the water increases blood flow to the pubic area, which stimulates the clitoris and improves lubrication.

Change your diet
Forget chocolate as an aphrodisiac: if your libido is lacking it could be fruit and vegetables that you need. Iron carries oxygen to all cells in the body and is needed for arousal, B vitamins help you feel good, in particular,B6, which helps regulate sex hormone functions. Calcium is required for the muscle contraction associated with orgasm, essential fatty acids are needed for acute senses, and chromium is needed for energy and libido. However, it’s not uncommon for modern women to be short of one if not all of these nutrients. A good healthy diet, rich in fruit and vegetables, is a good place to start, but see In Bed With The Food Doctors by Ian Barber and Vicky Edgson, (Collins And Brown, £14.99) for specific suggestions.

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