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Your man's sexual health
continued from page 1
Premature ejaculation
What is it?
PE is when your man comes so quickly that there's no pleasure in it for him - or for you.
Why does it happen?
What underpins PE is a man's inability to hold back his climax. Sometimes that's down to sheer arousal - he's so excited he can only hold out for a short period of time. But with really serious PE, a man might have such a hair-trigger reaction that he comes before he even touches his partner.
What should he do?
One way forward is for him to climax before intercourse - the second time he's more likely to be able to hold back. He also needs to learn to spot his body's signals leading up to orgasm, so he can take action. The best way is through practice. For a few weeks, he should regularly masturbate nearly to climax, at which point he should stop - then start again - thus learning to control his orgasm.
How can you help?
There's a neat trick you can try - during intercourse or masturbation. When he's about to climax, grip his penis firmly using two fingers and thumb of one hand - with your thumb underneath your fingers. Apply firm pressure until his erection subsides slightly - then you can both carry on.
Delayed ejaculation
What is it?
If a man has too much control over his climax, he may not be able to orgasm at all.
Why does it happen?
DE often happens with age - as men get older, they can take more time to come. Sometimes there's a physical basis for the problem, such as colostomy, spinal injury, multiple sclerosis or certain forms of medication. One of the main causes, though, is that a man is simply over-controlling his orgasm and can't let go.
What should he do?
If the problem's suddenly kicked in, it's more likely to be down to a single, physical, cause - so a GP check-up is necessary. But if your man has always had difficulty with climax, it may be that he is feeling anxious about sex and the relationship, and can't relax enough to climax during lovemaking. In this case, relationships counselling or sex therapy can help.
How can you help?
Your partner may find it useful to practise climax through masturbation; the more confident he is, the easier it'll be for him to orgasm during intercourse. If you feel able, you can help a lot. Start with him masturbating while you're in the room - back to back if he feels uncomfortable. When he can do this without nerves, join in by masturbating him yourself. Once he's really confident and relaxed with that - which may take several weeks - move on to intercourse.
Premature ejaculation
PE is when your man comes so quickly that there's no pleasure in it for him - or for you.
What underpins PE is a man's inability to hold back his climax. Sometimes that's down to sheer arousal - he's so excited he can only hold out for a short period of time. But with really serious PE, a man might have such a hair-trigger reaction that he comes before he even touches his partner.
One way forward is for him to climax before intercourse - the second time he's more likely to be able to hold back. He also needs to learn to spot his body's signals leading up to orgasm, so he can take action. The best way is through practice. For a few weeks, he should regularly masturbate nearly to climax, at which point he should stop - then start again - thus learning to control his orgasm.
There's a neat trick you can try - during intercourse or masturbation. When he's about to climax, grip his penis firmly using two fingers and thumb of one hand - with your thumb underneath your fingers. Apply firm pressure until his erection subsides slightly - then you can both carry on.
Delayed ejaculation
If a man has too much control over his climax, he may not be able to orgasm at all.
DE often happens with age - as men get older, they can take more time to come. Sometimes there's a physical basis for the problem, such as colostomy, spinal injury, multiple sclerosis or certain forms of medication. One of the main causes, though, is that a man is simply over-controlling his orgasm and can't let go.
If the problem's suddenly kicked in, it's more likely to be down to a single, physical, cause - so a GP check-up is necessary. But if your man has always had difficulty with climax, it may be that he is feeling anxious about sex and the relationship, and can't relax enough to climax during lovemaking. In this case, relationships counselling or sex therapy can help.
Your partner may find it useful to practise climax through masturbation; the more confident he is, the easier it'll be for him to orgasm during intercourse. If you feel able, you can help a lot. Start with him masturbating while you're in the room - back to back if he feels uncomfortable. When he can do this without nerves, join in by masturbating him yourself. Once he's really confident and relaxed with that - which may take several weeks - move on to intercourse.
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