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Your man's sexual health
continued from page 2
Loss of desire
What is it?
When he's rarely or never in the mood for sex.
Why does it happen?
Loss of desire can be down to tiredness, stress and illness. Medications such as antidepressants and anticonvulsants can dramatically lower desire. But of all the sexual problems a man might have, loss of desire tends to be caused by emotional issues. A man who's feeling down about himself or about the relationship may not want to open up enough emotionally to make love.
What should he do?
Once he's ruled out medical causes, he needs to be honest with himself about his life - and willing to take action to solve any life problems. If work is stressful, he might need a job change. If he's been under family pressure, he might need to build bridges with certain relations. If the two of you have been having a hard time, he'll need to face that and work it through.
How can you help?
Try not to blame your man. Of course you may feel rejected because he doesn't want to make love - but nagging won't help raise his desire level. Instead, encourage him to open up about any emotional problems - listen, sympathise, support and perhaps suggest counselling. If the two of you are having problems and he won't go to counselling, go yourself; a couple can make progress if even just one of them goes to therapy.
Resources
The three major resources you may need to sort a sexual problem are:
Medical advice. See your GP or call NHS Direct on 0845 4647.
Relationship counselling. Relate is the main counselling agency for Britain. Visit www.relate.org.uk.
Sex therapy. This is counselling targeted at sexual problems - and it has a great success rate. Have a look at BASRT and also Partner Therapy or Emotional Bliss.
Talk about your health problems with other iVillagers on the Your Health message board
Loss of desire
When he's rarely or never in the mood for sex.
Loss of desire can be down to tiredness, stress and illness. Medications such as antidepressants and anticonvulsants can dramatically lower desire. But of all the sexual problems a man might have, loss of desire tends to be caused by emotional issues. A man who's feeling down about himself or about the relationship may not want to open up enough emotionally to make love.
Once he's ruled out medical causes, he needs to be honest with himself about his life - and willing to take action to solve any life problems. If work is stressful, he might need a job change. If he's been under family pressure, he might need to build bridges with certain relations. If the two of you have been having a hard time, he'll need to face that and work it through.
Try not to blame your man. Of course you may feel rejected because he doesn't want to make love - but nagging won't help raise his desire level. Instead, encourage him to open up about any emotional problems - listen, sympathise, support and perhaps suggest counselling. If the two of you are having problems and he won't go to counselling, go yourself; a couple can make progress if even just one of them goes to therapy.
Resources
The three major resources you may need to sort a sexual problem are:
Talk about your health problems with other iVillagers on the Your Health message board
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