iVillage logo
Search iVillage
Relationships
Horoscopes
Entertainment
Beauty & Fashion
Diet & Fitness
Health
Pregnancy
Parenting
Home & Garden
Work & Money
Food & Drink
Travel
Top of the frocks
Dresses for every occasion
Video nasty
Jordan wants movie about her life
Get the look
Try a virtual makeover today
Relationships 
  |  Sex  |  Sex & Health  |  De-stress and have better sex
Advertisement
Topics
Sex
Hot Sex
Bedroom Basics
Oral Sex
Orgasms
Sex & Health
Sexual Dilemmas
Talk About Sex
Family & Friends
Divorce
Marriage
Couples
Single & Dating
Community
Understanding Men
partners
iVillage shopping

Hot stuff
Vote for a good cause
Relationship photo galleries
The Orgasmatron
Olympics 2008
Sex positions to try
iVillage sex shop
Community Awards
Men are perfect but...
Newsletters
sign up for FREE!




 
Promotions
Dating dilemmas
Find a new man with the help of DatingDirect.com
Transform coffee breaks
A sprinkling of Latte Creations makes an everyday coffee break extra special

De-stress and have better sex

by Dr Patti Britton

question
Dear Dr Patti
My partner and I have a good sex life, but when either of us gets stressed we have much less sex and sometimes my partner even has trouble performing. During these stressful times, we often pick fights with each other, as a way to avoid any intimacy. We always bounce back, but I'd like to find a way to deal with these tricky times, especially with our summer holiday, and all the related stress, just around the corner.
B

answer
Dear B
I always say that there are three killers of sex:

  1. Stress. You and your partner are feeling the pressures of life, and in the run-up to your holiday things may definitely get worse.

  2. Exhaustion. Being tired from physical, mental or emotional exertion can defuse even the strongest urge. Sex takes place in a relaxed body - and you need plenty of energy.

  3. Anxiety. When the mechanics aren't working, most men feel very anxious. Unfortunately, concern about performance is part of the problem, not the solution.

I suggest that you indulge in a spot of sensual massage, which will create pleasure, alleviate tension and may even lead on to something more exciting.

Also, I think you and your partner should try and discuss these issues before your holiday. Try and envision a relaxing, fulfilling and loving holiday. You could stick a piece of paper on your fridge, where you can both jot down notes to one other every day. You could write about all the things you would like to have in your relationship, as well as those things that you do have and you are grateful for. This exercise should help to make your holiday a special and positive time.

Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon