Press here for pleasure

Not every woman will want to have a titanium generator stitched into her bum but I bet most of the 40 per cent of women suffering from sexual dysfunction will. So will the 58 per cent of women revealed by recent studies who do not come regularly with partners and the 42 per cent who told Shere Hite in 1994 that they faked it with partners.

Love it or hate it, hi-tech sex is here to stay and it’s the men who will eventually be moaning about it. Today’s technology has enabled women to conceive without sex. And while we have always been able to orgasm alone, this device is revolutionary in that it brings the female orgasm out of the closet and into the public arena. Women will be able to orgasm at the flick of a switch anywhere they like without a man in sight and this will unnerve them. And before you can say, ‘How was it for me?’ new laws will be in force preventing females climaxing anywhere but at home. It won’t be the first time in history that women will be imprisoned for their sexuality.

Initially, men will think this dream machine will let them off the hook. But it will finally dawn on them that women are in greater control of their pleasure and that’s where the battle, already hinted at by Meroy and Medtronic, starts. What most men don’t understand is that no device can take the place of intimacy and a caring, sharing lover who works hard to pleasure his partner. The problem is, there are not enough of these carers and sharers to go around – which is why the instant electronic orgasm is such an exciting discovery. It’s a pity the clitoris wasn’t discovered first.