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Sex braggers - beware
In saner moments, we know that sex braggers are either fibbing or exaggerating wildly. It’s useful to bear in mind that we are hearing edited highlights; no one boasts about ordinary, everyday sex with the lights off (which is, let’s face it, what most long-term relationship sex is like). And, if you scratch beneath the layer of titillation, sex braggers rarely seem happy with their lot.
Take my former colleague. I dreaded her daily outpouring of fruity antics until it occurred to me that, after an initial flurry of Technicolor activity, each relationship fizzled out. Of course she had plenty to boast about: she was permanently in a new relationship, when there’s heaps to show off about. It’s trickier to conjure up spicy details if you’ve been with your partner for 17 years and would terrify the life out of him if you happened to wear a pair of saucy pants. Yet this is what my colleague wanted: a predictable, long-term thing. Several times I heard her spit, ‘He’s only interested in sex. He’ll only give me his mobile number, for God’s sake.’
So why brag? Pamela Curwen, of the Couples Counselling Network, believes that we have huge expectations and almost create the man to fit: ‘We form an ideal partner in our minds and, if he doesn’t fit quite as snugly as we’d thought, we panic.’ Hence the trumped-up tales. Irritating – and dangerous too. Curwen points out that sex braggers can impact on your own love life: ‘Everyday life brings so many external pressures and feelings of competitiveness, all of which feed into your relationship.’
As if life wasn’t stressful enough. According to Kasia Szymanska, Associate Director of the Centre For Stress Management, putting ourselves under pressure, ‘is hardly conducive to sexual satisfaction. And certainly, comparing our sex lives to what everyone else is supposedly doing is extremely unhelpful.’
And so I may forget to return Suzie’s call. At least until her new relationship is history. By then, of course, she’ll be ranting on about his casual approach to personal hygiene and heavy-handed foreplay techniques. And when she lurches into her next liaison, I shall comfort myself with the fact that no one experiences simultaneous orgasms except in dodgy soft-core movies. Do they…?
Do you have a sex-bragging friend? Or are you one? Why not chat about sex with other iVillagers? Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions happening right now on the sex board:
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