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Fix your sex life
continued from page 3
7. Having a laugh
Have you noticed the personal columns in magazines and newspapers? Considering how different people are, why do they all sound so similar in the Personals? Most people don't get beyond a Good Sense Of Humour - although of course that's quite a good start. So stop and ask yourself: 'Am I having fun in bed?' (Or wherever your sex life happens). And if the answer is no, it's definitely time to do something about it.
8. What's love got to do with it?
Last but not least, for most people, the best kind of sex is when you're in love. Sex can be either emotional or one-dimensional. If it's just a mechanical exercise, there isn't much you can do, except do it.
Sex is a magnet for emotions, but love isn't the only one it attracts. Fear and anger are another couple of front-runners, which is why sex can be dangerous and scary as well as wonderful. It's a good idea to be picky about the emotions that run your sex life. And, fortunately, you do have a choice.
A lot of people separate emotion and sex completely and if that doesn't work, they separate sex and other people. Those are both safe options, but not exciting ones. Wouldn't it be nice if you could have emotionally unprotected sex, with no danger of hurting yourself or anyone else?
If that's not been your experience until now, it won't change overnight. However, your deadline for perfect sex doesn't have to be as tight as that, so give yourself time and start by asking yourself what you could change, whether you really want to change it - and when.
Judith Verity is the author of Quick Fix Your Sex Life, Quick Fix Your Life and Quick Fix Your Social Life, (How To Books, £5.95).
7. Having a laugh
Have you noticed the personal columns in magazines and newspapers? Considering how different people are, why do they all sound so similar in the Personals? Most people don't get beyond a Good Sense Of Humour - although of course that's quite a good start. So stop and ask yourself: 'Am I having fun in bed?' (Or wherever your sex life happens). And if the answer is no, it's definitely time to do something about it.
8. What's love got to do with it?
Last but not least, for most people, the best kind of sex is when you're in love. Sex can be either emotional or one-dimensional. If it's just a mechanical exercise, there isn't much you can do, except do it.
Sex is a magnet for emotions, but love isn't the only one it attracts. Fear and anger are another couple of front-runners, which is why sex can be dangerous and scary as well as wonderful. It's a good idea to be picky about the emotions that run your sex life. And, fortunately, you do have a choice.
A lot of people separate emotion and sex completely and if that doesn't work, they separate sex and other people. Those are both safe options, but not exciting ones. Wouldn't it be nice if you could have emotionally unprotected sex, with no danger of hurting yourself or anyone else?
If that's not been your experience until now, it won't change overnight. However, your deadline for perfect sex doesn't have to be as tight as that, so give yourself time and start by asking yourself what you could change, whether you really want to change it - and when.
Judith Verity is the author of Quick Fix Your Sex Life, Quick Fix Your Life and Quick Fix Your Social Life, (How To Books, £5.95).
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