How do I overcome my inhibitions?
Dear Dr Patti
My problem is how to lose my inhibitions during sex. Although I love having sex with my boyfriend and we do it whenever we can, I just can't seem to get rid of my shyness. I am too shy to tell him how to kiss me 'down there' the way I want to be kissed. I also want to 'play games' while making love, but I don't know how.
R
Congrats on your courage in expanding your sexual horizons. It sounds as though you are on the point of bursting out of your shell and just need a little boost.
It's difficult for some women to claim their right to pleasure, regardless of where that takes place. Because of the shame and guilt that some women feel about their sexual anatomy, such as the smells and tastes that emanate from the genital region, it can be embarrassing for them to deal with the intimacy of oral sex. Taste your own juices first, to be sure that you know the state of your hygiene and are familiar with your natural scents. This may help you to overcome that shyness about directing his oral forays.
Be sure that you know what turns you on, and use your hand to guide his mouth towards your soft tissues. It makes sense to tell your lover what pleases you.
As for the 'games' you want to play, I am not sure what you mean. Perhaps write me another email with more details, and we can address those concerns. Above all, give yourself permission for take-off and have a great flight.
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