5 questions every man dreads - and why

3. Where (or how) do you think our relationship is going?
Many women just can't wait to get around to the 'relationship discussion'. They want to know how their man is feeling about the relationship in general, so they sit him down to get the details. The problem is that this discussion makes many men feel pressured - and restless. This question is pretty vague, and he may not understand what you're actually asking him. For example, is this the precursor to discussing marriage, or do you simply want to know whether he's content with the relationship between you? Of course, a man will have opinions of where the relationship is going, just like women do. The problem is that after being prompted to address a heavily weighted issue like this, some men fear that, depending on how they answer this question, they might be in for an intense, uncomfortable discussion. They could feel judged and criticised, and if this happens too often, it can easily make them drift away. Instead of pinning all of your expectations on a forced discussion, try to keep communication open in the relationship - all the time. That way, you can both express your feelings as they arise, and have them heard and attended to naturally.

4. What are you thinking? (Usually asked in bed)
Some women want to make sure that a man is thinking only of them in bed, but this is a very complicated question for a bloke. Although he loves you - and may be very happy with you - it is normal for your man to occasionally fantasise about others during sex. And it's not because he isn't there with you. This only means that he's making the experience exciting for himself in many ways.

Don't probe his secret fantasies unless he wishes to discuss them with you. If he doesn't bring it up, chances are that asking him about it will make him feel criticised, guilty and perhaps restricted. On the other hand, if he does wish to share his fantasies, this can be tricky too. Make sure you can tolerate hearing about what's going on in your man's mind, and remember not to assume he doesn't care about you. It's perfectly acceptable to decide you don't want to hear about these fantasies. Just let him know about your wishes gently, if and when he tries to fill you in.