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The EUM factor
We all know at least one emotionally unavailable man. Some of us even try to live with them, or even marry them. Millions of us around the world are in love with them. The casualty rate around these men is high - they break hearts as easily as they walk away. No matter how much you try to avoid them, they bounce around the next corner waiting to dazzle you with their charm. There is not a woman in the land who has not encountered an EUM with the emotional maturity of a one-year old.
Refusal to commit
But why do some men refuse to commit and live up to the expectations of the women who love them? 'Simply because we are different,' argues Dr Philip Cox, a London based psychotherapist.' Men like the chase, and love to chase after something they can't have. Once they've got it, it loses its allure.'
According to Dr Cox, EUM's are only doing what they are biologically primedto do. 'We have only been living the life we have been living for about 2000years. For millions of years before that, men had a quick screw and moved on.The reason why men find it hard to commit is because they are wired not tocommit. Some men can fall in love and stay with that person, because they have learnt to override their biological programming.'
June's story - The EUM experience
Independent and strong, June Philips, 35, gives the impression she wouldn't give an EUM the time of day, but here she is chain smoking, hands trembling, continually on the verge of tears. Her lover, Peter, has just walked out of the door after a passionate weekend together at her East London home. Once again, June, a speech therapist, is left feeling confused, hurt and more in love with the man than ever. 'We've had a fantastic weekend, but I am left wondering when I will see him again, if at all. Yet again, just before leaving he tells me he doesn't love me, it's just sex and nothing else. Two weeks ago he was saying I was the centre of his universe,' she says.So why does she hang on to the relationship? 'Because life feels meaningless without Peter.'
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