Help! I think my fiancé is gay

If you love someone, you want them to be as fulfilled as they can be, and if your fiancé is bisexual but hiding it from you, he can never achieve fulfilment. He needs to feel able to be honest with you about his sexuality or he will end up living a lie for the rest of his married life.

Plus, hard though it is, you both need to face the possibility that he is fully gay. If he is, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to be with you, but it does mean that the two of you have some hard thinking to do about whether marriage is advisable. It is possible to love and live with a gay guy, but it's a tough road.

This may be the hardest call you've ever had to make in your life, but for your man's sake, you need to make it. Don't accuse, blame or challenge him, but equally don't simply ask the question and then accept bland reassurances. It will be very easy for him to tell you everything is all right because he wants to believe it. And it's easy for you to swallow easy assurances because you want to believe it too.

You need to create a deep and truthful conversation about what you found. For the moment, put the conversation about the relationship on the back burner - concentrate on helping your man explore why he watches gay porn and what his true sexuality is.

You could be helping him be who he really is, encouraging him to live an honest life, and no one could give him a greater gift than that. Hang on to that thought if the going gets rough in the next few days.