Keep it casual?

But if you're in any doubt, think about these questions. A 'yes' answer suggests that casual sex can work for you, a 'no' answer that - at this point in your life - it won't.

• Have you ever been able to have sex for the sheer pleasure, even if you weren't involved with your partner? If not, you're likely to find casual sex uninspiring. But if so, casual sex can give you a high quality, high sensation experience.
• Does risk and insecurity make you excited rather than uncomfortable? If not, you may be so ill at ease that you won't enjoy sex. But if so, casual sex will increase your passion.
• Do you feel positive about friends or colleagues who have had casual sex? If not, then casual sex may make you blame yourself. If so, then casual sex is unlikely to dent your self esteem.
• Are you really responsible about contraception - even in the heat of passion? If not, you risk pregnancy or infection. If so, then you'll stay safe.
• Are you currently feeling high in self-confidence and sure of yourself? If not, you may get over involved with a casual partner and so get hurt. If so, then you're more likely to be able to handle a casual liaison.

Making it work for you
The bottom line here is that casual sex can be wonderful. But in the wrong context then it can result in more long-term pain than pleasure. So, finally, some tips on how make sure that it works for you.

1. Have casual sex for the right reasons - short-term pleasure, an ego boost, a sign that you're in charge. Never see it as a way of snaring your man.
2. Don't have casual sex when you've been drinking or when you haven't got protection; both are sure-fire routes to regrets.
3. Never blame a casual partner for treating the relationship casually - that was the deal, remember!
4. If in the morning you feel over-emotional, desperate and clingy, remember it's your hormones kicking in - do all you can to calm down and make a dignified exit.
5. If casual sex works for you, enjoy! If it doesn't, then steer well clear, and wait for Mr Right, not Mr Right Now!

Further reading
Brief Encounters - the women's guide to Casual Sex by Emily Dubberley, priced £10.99 from Fusion Press