Relationships 

Advertisement

Seven things he won't know he's doing wrong until you tell him

The male and female brains work in different ways. Fact. Get the male perspective on those mistakes only men could make



You've probably noticed by now that men are not perfect. In fact, it can sometimes seem that men are huge, great blobs of imperfection. In women's eyes men regularly do things wrong and are too lazy to do anything about it. But many of the mistakes men make are due to their not knowing they are mistakes in the first place. We only do them because our brain works differently from the female brain. Remember, unless you tell your Mr Imperfect that these things upset you, he'll carry on getting them wrong.

1. Being abrupt on the telephone. Men see the phone as a means of communication, nothing more. A typical male telephone conversation goes as follows: 'Drink in the pub tonight?' 'What time?' 'Seven-thirty?' 'See you there.' Men do their talking in person, when they get to the pub. (From about eight-thirty onwards the talking won't make much sense.) But women enjoy the process of communication rather than just its result, so want to prolong the call, bonding a little more. Explain to your man that hanging up quickly can be hurtful, even though he doesn't mean it to be.

2. Offering solutions when you just want him to listen. If you've got a problem (at work, for instance) you'll want to sit down and talk about it with your man, approaching it from different angles. But men don't do 'different angles'. The only angle they know is head-on, with a sledgehammer. Your man will instantly give you practical steps towards fixing the problem. He thinks he's helping. Explain that you appreciate his desire to assist, but all you want him to do is sympathise as you talk around the problem in your own way.

3. Being silent when he's considering his own problems. The other side of the same coin: when your man has a worry, he keeps it to himself, trying to solve it quickly, not wanting to bother you. Men are much more comfortable with silence than women. They don't feel the same need for reassuring communication all the time. And so it doesn't occur to your man that you could misunderstand his quietness as a sign that you've done something wrong. Ask him to keep you posted on his thoughts, even if it's just a monosyllabic grunt or two.

RATE IT

Delicious     Digg     reddit     Facebook     StumbleUpon

  Get the latest iVillage news on your desktop    Sign up for more iVillage RSS feeds

© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB