The Top 10 lies happy husbands tell

6. 'I don't want to have sex unless you want to.'
Why he tells it: to avoid seeming like a sex-crazed monkey

Women love sex - with the right person, in the right mood and armed with the right underwear. Men's love of sex is unconditional. When unburdened by physical problems or moral restraints, the typical man can happily have sex any time, any place. He doesn't have to be in a good mood, or like the person, or 'feel right about it', or know her name. Even porn movie dialogue doesn't turn men off. What does that tell you?

Men aren't insensitive to the dismaying effect our lust can have on the women we love. So we do our best to smooth over the rough edges. If you're not in the mood, we'll hide our disappointment so you won't think we're raging sex maniacs. If you're averse to our new idea involving handcuffs, a lingerie catalogue and a balloon full of porridge, we'll quickly pretend we were kidding so you won't think we're perverts. (And if we feel too tired for sex, we may 'perform' anyway so you won't cast your eye in the direction of the milkman.)

It's tough for men today. We're required to be sublimely romantic and respectful, and to ask for permission before touching your nose. But we're also expected to be harder than nuclear physics, last longer than a libel trial, be ready for action whenever you are and give you wild orgasms every time.

Juggling all these concerns, a man will lie to you in the bedroom whenever he thinks the truth would: (a) make him seem like an oversexed animal; (b) make him seem undersexed; or (c) offend you and get his horizontal privileges cut off. And we don't want anything cut off now, do we?