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Coping with the in-laws
You've chosen each other, but you certainly haven't chosen each other's parents. Matt Whyman puts forward the male perspective
Love or loathe them, your in-laws are here to stay. Whatever issues you may have with your partner's parents, chances are your other half can match them.
'They're here for the week, OK?'
In-law jokes are as old as the hills, and a sure sign that we're not the first to come into conflict with your partner's parents. There are many reasons why we find it hard to adore your folks with the same passion we reserve for you, but it always boils down to the impact we feel they have on the relationship. They are the 'third party', after all, and bound to be an influence. The problems arise when we feel this influence becomes invasive, but aren't able to express ourselves without risking an almighty row.
'Love me, love my parents!'
We don't choose our in-laws. There is no passionate love affair to be had here. It's you who mean the world to us, but still your parents come as part of the package. Issues often arise because we just cannot bring ourselves to embrace them as some kind of surrogate mother and father. As soon as you ask why, we're into upbringing comparisons and shouting escalation scenarios. It's all down to torn loyalties, of course, which can make it near impossible to have a calm and rational discussion.
Love or loathe them, your in-laws are here to stay. Whatever issues you may have with your partner's parents, chances are your other half can match them.
'They're here for the week, OK?'
In-law jokes are as old as the hills, and a sure sign that we're not the first to come into conflict with your partner's parents. There are many reasons why we find it hard to adore your folks with the same passion we reserve for you, but it always boils down to the impact we feel they have on the relationship. They are the 'third party', after all, and bound to be an influence. The problems arise when we feel this influence becomes invasive, but aren't able to express ourselves without risking an almighty row.
'Love me, love my parents!'
We don't choose our in-laws. There is no passionate love affair to be had here. It's you who mean the world to us, but still your parents come as part of the package. Issues often arise because we just cannot bring ourselves to embrace them as some kind of surrogate mother and father. As soon as you ask why, we're into upbringing comparisons and shouting escalation scenarios. It's all down to torn loyalties, of course, which can make it near impossible to have a calm and rational discussion.
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iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
