Sex positions for fat days, and more...

Just because you're tired, bloated or having a horrendous fat day (we've all been there), that doesn't mean it has to be a no-sex night! Just follow my intimate instructions and you'll be basking in the afterglow in no time

You're having a fat day

What you want

To hide bulges, keep yourself semi-covered and ideally keep his hands far from your tummy and other no-go zones.

Intimate instructions

There are alternatives to keeping your tee-shirt on and settling for (yawn) missionary. Rear-entry positions are the most flattering. Kneel facing away from him, lean down to rest your weight on your forearms (tummy hidden) and push your bottom tantalisingly high in the air in his direction.

Not only does it give him a visual treat, the angle and position makes your waist look tiny and your thighs slim and taut, without you having to launch into that whiny 'Don't look at me!' girly stuff. Put his hands on your hips to hold you steady while he thrusts, and you've also solved the wandering hands problem.

Sneaky tricks

If he wants the lights on, place glass-encased candles on the floor or simply plunk the bedside light down there. Lighting from below is far more flattering. Or play a game using a flashlight. Make the room as black as possible so there's complete darkness, then, use the flashlight to highlight favourite parts of each other's body.

It's complimentary, plus, because only one section at a time is being lit, it's less intrusive. Another good fat-day trick: blindfold him and let it all hang out.

A new angle

If you do opt for missionary, make a podgy upper midriff look sexier by stretching your arms up over your head and grabbing onto the bedposts or by placing them flat on the wall behind the bed. Better still, get him to pin you there. It's super-sexy for him; he's in control and you're completely submissive. Plus, it works a treat to make tummies look flat and breasts appear perky!

You're exhausted

What you want

A zero-effort session where he won't notice if you nod off during the boring bits. Plus, speedy orgasms so you're spooning (and snoring) in no time.

Intimate instructions

Chances are you're already lying on your side, your back to his front (eyes determinedly shut despite his penis prodding you in the back), so this really is lazy-girl sex. Just lift your bottom to allow him to penetrate, and tighten your thighs for maximum friction while his hands reach around to stimulate your clitoris. To speed him up, make lots of satisfied groans and moans.

Sneaky tricks

If you're half asleep, your sexual system probably is too, so help it along by using lubricant. Save even more energy by ditching the usual in-out thrusting motion, and instead clench one buttock cheek at a time to rock you from side to side.

A new angle

If you can bear to get out of bed or are already snuggled up in front of the telly, have armchair sex instead. You sit on his lap, facing him, in a crouched position. Place your feet flat on the seat beside his thighs while he holds you by the waist and lifts you up and down. If you really want to be self-indulgent, tell him it's `your turn? (promise he can be completely spoiled next time). Settle yourself into that swivel chair in the study for a blissful oral sex session.