Should we abolish the royals?

Behind the royal myth lies the eldorado of soap operas, writes Derek Draper

Last year's poll which showed that one in three voters support abolishing the monarchy wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. Not because the results aren’t interesting; they are. It was the highest anti-royal figure ever recorded – just fifteen years ago less than 13% of the UK wanted a republic. And the detail of the survey makes even more worrying reading for the Windsors.

Nearly half (48%) of the crucial 18 – 24 age group, tomorrow’s opinion formers, want rid of them. The poll is ultimately worthless, though, because in practice it doesn’t make a distinction between support for the monarchy as an institution, and support for the particular monarch we have at present.

The Queen’s long reign, beginning at a time when deference was at its height, and the way in which she has so assiduously avoided scandal and ridicule, bolster royal support. When people think monarchy, they see her. When she dies (abdication is not her way) there will be a sudden change in public perception. We will be asked not whether we want to throw out Her Majesty, but whether we want to renew the franchise and proclaim Charles our new ruler. George Bernard Shaw quipped that monarchs aren’t born, they are created by universal hallucination. Will we buy this particular illusion?

Remember the Queen’s coronation. A nation sat rapt as the ‘magical’ new television let them glimpse splendours never before seen. A beautiful, pure young woman accepted her historic duty with calm dignity.

Now imagine Charles’ coronation. That weird bloke who talks to plants and wishes he were a tampon and cheated on his tragic wife, will walk up the (familiar) aisle and make new vows. His views – on GM foods, architecture, religion – endlessly paraded, the most private aspects of his life splashed over the tabloids for all to gawk at. Then one afternoon, thanks to an anachronistic ceremony, beamed to a populace wary and weary of pomp and ceremony, this man will be transformed into our king.

It isn’t hard to imagine, at that moment, the magic spell being broken. If that 34% of republicans, that used to be just 13%, then became 51% or 60%, a majority, then how could the monarchy survive?