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Single files - Elle Saunders

Elle Saunders's candid take on the mind-boggling minefield of dating, love and sex in London.

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Recent blog posts

Mar 23

"And with that he takes me in his arms and kisses me"

I still can't believe I've had the offer of working in New York. Naturally I snapped it up. After all, there is nothing holding me in London anymore. No job, no James.... A soft breeze flutters through the window of my  flat. Unpacked boxes are strewn all over the wooden floors and the...
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Mar 21

"I'd like to offer you a position. Here in New York"

I’m in the garden at my parents' house, helping my dad plant a new batch of tulips by the pond. “That’s it my darling, just pop that one in there.” I dutifully put the bulb into the hole in the ground and cover it up with earth. "So, when’s mum coming back?...
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Mar 18

"I reach over and slap her around the face"

I should have screamed. I should have thrown my phone at her or slammed the door in her face but for some reason I feel calm. She just stands there looking at me, her mouth open. 'Yes you bitch,' I think cruelly, 'I've worked you out.' “You’d better come in.”...
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Mar 16

"I let a silent tear plop into my tea..."

I'm glad Heidi is coming round to see me. She is the one person I can really talk to about work, the one person who knows how it all works considering she worked at a magazine a few years ago...I know she’ll reassure me I've done the right thing. As I'm waiting for her to arrive I...
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Mar 15

“How could you do this?” I'm shaking with fury...

Having called in sick to work for the past week I realise I have got to face the music. “I can’t find my bloody keys.” Lyds us standing in the doorway to our living room drinking a cup of tea as she watches me tip my handbag upside down and empty out its entire contents: letters...
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Mar 09

"I can't believe I have lost him..."

I don’t remember the journey back home on the plane. It’s as though I’m on auto pilot, shaking my head at the stewardesses when they offer me a drink, pushing the food around the plate and not eating it when it is served, and just sleeping. I feel so tired. So physically exhausted...
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Mar 07

"I have just made the biggest mistake of my life"

I wake up an hour later on the bathroom floor. Like a zombie I walk back into the room and see Ray lying on my bed passed out. My body aches from tiredness and my mind hurts so much I cannot even think. Slowly I climb into bed next to Ray and let my eyes close. The click of the hotel door wakes me...
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Mar 04

"He lurches forward and tries to kiss me..."

I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging my knees silently and trying to calm down the hammering in my head. The minutes flick by, and still James’s phone goes straight to voicemail, proving that he is still with her and not thinking about me. But then it happens. Just before 3:00am...
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Mar 02

"I need to tell you how lost I've been without you..."

“Elle, really…you look incredible.” He steps back slightly and shakes his head in an appreciative way and running his fingers through his hair. He’s still wearing the watch I bought him for his birthday last year, I notice. “Why are you here Ray?” I ask,...
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Feb 28

"They looked like the perfect couple..."

I must have stayed in the toilet cubicle for a good half an hour because by the time I've regained my composure and wiped away my mascara streaks, it is completely dark outside and the Champagne has been replaced by vintage bordeux and G&Ts. I scan my eyes across the ballroom for James (or...
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