Sleep - coping with infants who wake at night

Comforting a crying infant in the small hours requires patience and stamina. Coram Family look at ways to settle the sleepless.

You expect to be up and about in the middle of the night with a small baby. Until they’re three or four months old, they usually need a late evening or night feed. You’re prepared for that. What the manuals don’t tell you is that four months is rarely the end of the story. Some young children take an age to get the message about sleeping through the night which is why so many parents find themselves treading the boards in the small hours – for months on end. If you’re in this situation, you begin to understand the tortures of sleep deprivation, as the idea of unbroken sleep becomes a dim and distant memory.

Perhaps the first thing to realise is that you’re not alone – it just feels that way. In his ‘A-Z of Child Development’ Dr Richard Woolfson (Souvenir Press) reported that: 20% of one-year-olds wake once or more during the night, at least four nights a week 17% of 18-month-olds are wakeful. 10% of four-year-olds still don’t sleep through the night. This all adds up to a huge number of restless children and exhausted parents.

Settle down, children!
In desperation, parents develop lengthy rituals at bedtime and during the night. Babies and young children are nursed, rocked, walked up and down or given a repertoire of songs and stories. The rituals get longer and longer but still the child doesn’t drop off to sleep. As hard as if may be, it would be better to cut back to a short, affectionate settling time.

The checking procedure
When your older baby or young child wakes in the evening or night: Don’t go in at the first whimper; see if she will settle herself.If whimpering becomes crying, then go in. Comfort and settle your child briefly, tuck her in or give her a special blanket or cuddly toy. Do not pick them up.Go out of the child’s room and wait for a short crying period – no more than a few minutes. If the crying does not stop or quieten, then go back in and follow the same short comforting approach. It may help to say very similar reassuring words, whether or not your child is old enough to understand them.